Self-publishing: does it make you feel vulnerable too?
I get it. I really do. Because I’ve been there as well.
And the crazy thing is I’d written and published books on Amazon for plenty of clients. I’d written lead magnets, e-books, 7-day challenges and video scripts for clients which brought in hundreds of subscribers and converted many into clients.
Truth is, it wasn’t that I couldn’t write. I’d proven that.
So what held me back from self-publishing my own book?
Not to be beaten lightly, I did some inner work. And realised that my fear of pressing the ‘PUBLISH’ button and letting the world see my work, was all to do with feeling vulnerable.
And once I’d opened up this feeling, it was like I’d turned on a movie of my life – the silly childhood stuff that happened when I was knee-high, and the times I’d ignored my gut instinct about someone and it came back to slap me round the face with ‘how many times…?’, and when I became a mum for the first time – every possible ‘vulnerable’ episode EVER began to rampage wildly through my imagination every time I thought seriously about becoming an author. More popcorn, anyone?
Self-publishing my own book was like shouting to the whole world, ‘Can everyone stop what they’re doing please and look at me?’ and for an introvert, well … it’s not good.
I’m a private person … I don’t like being the centre of attention … I’m shy … I don’t want everyone talking about me, finding out about my book, buying it (that’s a good one, isn’t it?) and judging me.
Nightmare.
But then I thought, hang on a minute. If I’m teaching people how to write their books and they can’t find one of my books on Amazon, then I’m a hypocrite.
So one day, I was so completely and utterly fed up with my attitude and feeling like a snowflake, I gave myself a good talking to. It sounded something like this:
Me: What’s the worst that can happen?
Also Me: Well, what if people say my book’s rubbish?
Me: So what? You know deep down it won’t be. That’s a poor excuse. Anyway, what if they say it’s brilliant? Thought of that one?
Also Me: Ok, well what if people leave me a rubbish review?
Me: Well that would at least mean you’ve published the book!
Also Me: Point taken. But what if people laugh at me?
Me: That’s their issue, not yours. Tomorrow’s fish and chip paper.
In case you’re wondering, this was an internal conversation. 🙂
The next morning I decided I was a wo-man not a mouse and I created an outline for my book. That’s when I turned a corner.
The closer I got to uploading the book to Amazon, the more excited I got.
Why?
I’d inadvertently created my own vulnerability-squishing tactics. When those unwanted thoughts and feelings crept up as my first draft neared completion, I blasted through them with EFT, journaling, meditation, an extra exercise class, running, and my favourite; tea and cake rewards after ticking off each baby step on my to-do list. Focusing my mind elsewhere helped me put things in perspective much more easily. And I just kept taking one small step every single day towards my ultimate goal, regardless of the inner monologue.
I realised these limiting beliefs were keeping me safe in my comfort blanket where it’s nice and warm and cosy, but they weren’t serving me.
I had to grow. And now, the more my book came to life, the more empowered I felt.
How did I overcome this vulnerability?
I created a daily positive affirmation and reminded myself of it as I went about my routine.
“It is safe for me to be an author.”
“I deserve to be a successful author.”
“I am a successful author.”
Etc, etc.
I created a vision for my book, stuck it on the wall and consumed every last detail of it daily.
I journalled through my blocks and put them into perspective.
I meditated and visualised chatting with the future me who was a serial author with hundreds of 5* best-selling books.
It worked.
Your takeaway
Even if you’re still not convinced the timing’s right to get your book out there yet, just remember this:
You are in charge of your thoughts.
If you want to become an author, you’ll always find a way.
Vulnerability feels real but like many obstacles aspiring authors think they’re facing, it can all be changed with some simple mindset work.
The best things about self-publishing your first book?
- Being so proud of yourself and loving the publication process that you’ll instantly be prepping the first draft of your next book and the next book and the next book.
- Sharing your magnetic message with an even bigger audience.
- Bagging yourself heaps more kudos.
(And that’s just for starters.)
Don’t let your vulnerability hold you back!
Standing in your own way (which is another guise for vulnerability) actually leads to nowhere. No book, no progress, no confidence boost, no excitement, just empty talk ‘I want to write a book one day’.
Don’t be someone who talks and never does.
Don’t be someone who lets vulnerability stop them from reaching their potential.
Be someone. Be an author. It’s one of the best feelings you’ll ever have.
Need a motivational talk to help shift those limiting beliefs, set you up with a self-publishing project management plan and get you back on track?
Then let’s talk.
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